The Changeling's Cottage

Dearëst Zoë,

This is the letter I will never show you because I think on your own you'll soon enough learn the hard truths of life and I don't want to be the one to introduce them to you before it really becomes necessary. 

The truth is when you're an adult NO ONE wants to hear about your crummy day, your inexplicable bad mood, the irritations and injustices of the average work day.  Often, you're going to wonder why you get up in the morning and if you're going to be able to force yourself out of bed tomorrow or not.  You'll want to throw temper tantrums, complete with wailing and pummeling of fists on the floor, but as an adult it's no longer considered socially acceptable and will probably get you locked up so you're filled with frustration that you can't find an outlet for. 

What I pray for you is that your thoughts are not like mine.  I pray that you won't doubt 1,000 times a day if you're worth anything at all.  I pray that you won't feel the urge to push everyone who cares about you out of your life because you're convinced the only thing you're going to do is let them down eventually anyway.  I pray that you don't doubt your goodness and see going off the deep end one day as an indisputable given.  The truth is your mama really hates herself, the world at large and life in general quite often and I have no explanation or understanding of why that is.  I feel like an alien so often as if I just don't get what is so obvious to everyone else.  I'm often frustrated, irritated, petty, disappointed and sad.  Because you're a little kid, I try to hide all of this from you.  It's not right for me to put my problems on you, but I worry if my shortcomings will make it possible for me to raise you free of the taint of depression and anxiety.  I don't want you to adopt my neurotic ways as your own.  I pray that you take after your Dad more and be a relaxed and easy going person because life will be easier for you if you are.