The Changeling's Cottage

So.  It has come to my attention that I have so far lived my entire life doing the bare minimal possible to get by.  If I know the alarm is going to ring in 5 minutes, I don't anticipate my day, get up and get a jump on it, I lie in bed, clinging to my pillow and my dream life for 5 precious, tortuous more minutes, fretting as they count down faster and faster.  Assignments due in school, projects at work, house keeping chores; everything is done lackadaisical and with an eye for the quickest short cuts so I can get back to doing my favorite thing; nothing.  My aim in life so far has been to be as comfortable and as little bothered or troubled as possible.  It hasn't brought me much happiness or satisfaction.  Pleasure is not nearly the same thing as happiness.  I rush from one pleasure to the next like a child playing hopscotch in rapidly evaporating pools of light, pushed on by a hunger that nothing satiates.  I believe the hunger is for greater substance, for quality, for lasting meaning and for everything else that decadence and instant gratification can't equal.  I want freedom.  I have wanted to be free above all else my entire life, but it is a selfish freedom.  I want to have no demands on me, no pressure.  By running away from those things, I have abandoned goals, personal duties and my own best chance at lasting fulfillment.  I have avoided discipline like a mortal adversary, but as it turns out, without it, there is no getting anywhere worth being.  I will pursue more discipline in life, starting in small things and working my way up to greater commitments.